Lower School Division News April 3, 2025

By Dr. Debra Sass, Lower School Division Head

You might find this hard to believe, but occasionally we witness behaviors in school that necessitate consequences.  Many times,the consequences for an infraction are specifically detailed in the student handbook. However, there are times when an infraction does not fall under a specific behavior umbrella in the handbook, yet it requires serious reflection and redirection.  In these cases,we strive to execute appropriate, logical consequences if possible.  However, we also believe that effective discipline involves far more than simply picking the right consequence from a list of consequences. It involves building and maintaining loving relationships so that: (a) students are less likely to rebel, and (b) they experience genuine remorse when they blow it.  It also involves setting effective limits, sharing control within these limits, and teaching skills to prepare them for life’s tough challenges.

With this said, there are a variety of consequences that often outperform all others.  Steve Barkley (Education Consultant) refers to this process as restitution.  Restitution involves allowinga student to perform some service to make amends for undesirable behavior.  In that way, the energy students expend on misbehavior is channeled in more constructive directions.  

It’s the preferred type of consequence because:

• Students learn they can solve the problems they create

• It requires real thought, action, and learning for students

• It builds healthy self-esteem and efficacy

• Students reconnect when relationships are damaged

Although it’s not always possible to repair a physical object, it’s almost always possible to replace energy drained from another person.  Having kids replace the emotional voltage they sap from others is the approach of choice in the Lower School, particularly with students who lack confidence and need to feel that they are capable of doing good.

We do our best to be positive and thankful regarding energy replacement efforts at school.  While it may not be blatantly obvious in some situations, our goal is not to make the studentsfeel bad.  Kids don’t have to feel horrible to learn from restitution. In fact, we hope that they will feel good about it in the end.  When this happens, it often translates into fewer battles for everyone involved.

The most meaningful things in life can’t be bought.

Dr. Debra Sass