Lower School Division News: March 6, 2025

By Dr. Debra Sass, Lower School Division Head

Dear parents and friends,

Let’s talk about grades.  There are times when your child’s grades may be disappointing.  It happens.  However, there are several things that grades don’t represent.  They don’t reflect your parenting skills, your child’s aptitude, or your child’s future success.  Instead, they represent an opportunity for us to express our unconditional love and provide wise guidance.

It’s also important to recognize that grades are not always a fair indication of how hard your child is trying, how much they’re learning, or their potential for success later in life.  This is especially true at a school like Winston.  Furthermore, many students are still playing catch up after spending so much time away from campus during Covid shutdowns and quarantines.  From that angle, we shouldn’t overreact to lower grades. It’s the mastery over content that counts.

Opportunities for addressing grades at home:

• Express empathy while reminding yourself that your child’s report card is not your report card.  This might sound like, “Oh, I can’t imagine how disappointing this must be for you. I love you.”
• Don’t talk too much initially.  We don’t want to end up owning the problem. When we empathize, listen, and provide a pat on the back or a hug, we are less likely to make the problem worse. Take a step back.  Give yourself and your child some space to process the situation before having another conversation.
• State your belief in your child’s ability to cope and to find solutions. It also communicates, “Your grades are your grades. I’m here to help but I can’t do this for you.”
• Review their work.  Look at the assignments and tests to better understand what areas they are struggling with.
• Offer academic support.  Help with homework. Provide a quiet and distraction-free study environment.
• Encourage study habits.  Help them develop effective study strategies, such as creating a schedule, breaking down tasks, and taking brain breaks.
• Celebrate successes.  Acknowledge and praise their efforts and progress, no matter how small.

Opportunities for addressing grades at school:

• Talk to their teachers.  Seek feedback from the teacher to gain a better understanding of the situation.
• Collaborate with the teacher.  Attend parent-teacher conferences.  Discuss your child’s progress and concerns with their teacher.
• Communicate regularly.  Stay in touch with the teacher to monitor progress and address any concerns promptly.  Work together to develop a plan for improving grades.
• Avoid comparing them with others.  Focus on your child’s individual strengths and areas for improvement.
• Encourage self-reflection.  Help them identify their strengths and weaknesses.  Discuss their learning style.  Their teacher can help you with this.
• Promote a growth mindset.  Encourage them to view challenges as opportunities for learning and growth.

Put the emphasis on character.  We can’t always make our kids into great students, but we can make our homes great places to learn important values like honesty, love for others, grit, and delayed gratification.

 Character is power,
 Dr. Debra Sass