Lower School Division News: Feb. 6, 2025

By Dr. Debra Sass, Lower School Division Head

Dear parents and families,

When you join us at The Winston School and see cutout hearts adorning the walls - or you can’t watch television at home without being bombarded with jewelry commercials, you know it’s February.  Valentine’s Day might seem like one more holiday that takes over store shelves with candy and demands our participation, but it’s also a great opportunity to talk to our kids and students about the most important value of them all - love.

From this one virtue stem countless others.  When love flourishes, traits like patience, kindness, and gratefulness follow.  The word “love” is likely to be spoken in homes and at school daily.  But teachers and parents may neglect talking about the meaning of this simple word.  It’s easy to think children must have an innate understanding of love.  After all, they were likely to be hearing the words “I love you” long before they could say it back.  However, it’s important that children understand that love is more than just something we say - it’s a way of life.

Sure, most of us would say without hesitation that we know what love is.  But how do we put it into words?  Our definition of love would probably vary depending on who it’s directed at, making this concept a bit tricky for children to understand.  We want our students (and our children) to understand that “love” is different from “enjoy.”  For example, your children might tell you that they “love” Taco Day at school, but hopefully their feelings for Taco Day are quite different from what they feel for their family members or teachers or friends.  It’s important that they understand that love as a virtue has nothing to do with personal preferences.  We want them to understand that, at its core, loving others means desiring the best for them.  We should sincerely care about the wellbeing and safetyof others.

At school, faculty and staff try to remember that arguing and fighting are a normal part of growing up.  Life can be messy from time to time.  However, it may not surprise you to hear that conflict can be very distracting during the school day.  Few things can be as annoying or draining for teachers.  Therefore, they must try very hard to keep the problem of arguing or fighting on the kids’ shoulders, where the problem ultimately belongs.  The conversationmight go something like this: “It sounds like you guys are having a problem getting along.  It will be interesting to see how you solve this problem.  I am confident that you can and will!” 

If the students can’t seem to solve the problem for themselves, teachers are ready to assist them or will. enlist the services of Mrs. McKinney (school counselor).  Winston teachers (and administrators) choose not to react with anger or frustration in the moment; they strive to model love in an effort to empower the students to solve problems and resolve conflicts on their own – with kindness.  When adults employ loving strategies consistently, children gradually learn to take responsibility for their own situations with kindness and empathy.  When the arguing or conflict starts, and they are reminded that they must lovingly solve the problem themselves, they will eventually begin to work together more naturally.

While it may seem obvious to the adults in a child’s life, it’s not always easy for a child to know how to be more loving at school.  Sometimes the most effective strategy is to role play the way we show a genuine interest in others.  How do we offer kind words and encouragement?   What does actively listening to others look like?  Take the time to brainstorm ways that we can help those who are struggling or include people who might feel left out.  Can you create an opportunity to celebrate successes together?  Finally, is it really possible to be respectful of everyone?  I certainly think so.

Let us learn to live with loving kindness, 

Dr. Debra Sass